When the Screen Freezes, Stay Present

Resilience isn’t about suppressing your emotions; it’s about what you do next.

Everything was going smoothly. I was finishing preparing for a workshop on self-confidence for an international audience, double-checking my language for clarity, and making sure my metaphors wouldn’t get lost in translation. I was also wrapping up my weekly newsletter when my computer froze. Completely.

First, I worked on troubleshooting. Then I called tech support. After an hour on the phone, they sent me to the Apple store. Three hours later, I walked out of the store without my computer and without the work I’d done that day.

Now what?

My workshop was on that laptop, as was my newsletter. Sure, I had a backup, but not for the work I had done that day. This is real life, when having a proactive way of seeing things keeps me out of reaction. It’s not as if I didn’t have any negative emotions; I was pretty upset, but I still had a commitment to a workshop in two days and needed to get started on making it happen.

Upset, But Still Engaged

I was upset. No question. Frustrated, disappointed, tired. But I still had a commitment. A workshop to deliver in two days. I didn’t have time to spiral into blame or anger. I’ve trained myself not to.

My years as a first responder shaped how I meet challenges. It’s not all emergencies and trauma. Sometimes it’s sitting with the question, ‘How do I recreate this workshop in two days and still make an impact?’

I developed a proactive mindset over time and do all I can to meet the ‘real world’ when it shows up. Sometimes there’s nothing to do, but staying out of a reactive mindset keeps the reasoning part of my brain online and adapting.

Who would have thought that in 2025, not only would I deliver a workshop to an international group of businesspeople, but that I would adapt by using a friend’s computer and keep my anger out of the way.

Adaptation Is the Win

So that’s how I handled it. I used a friend’s computer, rebuilt the workshop, and let go of being angry. Not because I’m some model of kumbaya, but because staying in reaction would’ve made things worse.

I’ve spent years retraining my nervous system to overcome the hypervigilance of my first responder days. What I’ve learned is that resilience isn’t about suppressing your emotions; it’s about what you do next.

My training taught me that every moment has the potential to trigger a reaction or to invite a response. One closes down thinking. The other opens up options.

That day, the challenge wasn’t just a lost file; it was the opportunity to practice what I talk about. Could I still deliver the workshop? Could I do it well, without spiraling into ‘Why me?’ self-talk or giving my frustration the steering wheel?

And the workshop went well. Really well. Maybe even better than expected. Why? Because I was in it. Fully present. My attention wasn’t stuck on what I’d lost; it was focused on what I could still create. I showed up present, not preoccupied. The group connected. The message landed. I was even able to use it as an example of recovering from a setback with (self) confidence.

This is post-traumatic growth in real time. Not a flashy transformation, but a lived-in, hard-earned capacity to adapt faster than circumstances unravel. That’s the kind of strength I didn’t have when I was younger. In those days, setbacks felt personal. Now, I’ve learned to pivot.

We don’t always get to choose what happens, but we do get to choose how we meet it.

What’s your version of this story?

Reply to this email or leave a comment. I want to hear how you’ve stayed present when things went sideways. Resilience works best when it’s shared. Let’s keep this conversation going.

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